Pregnancy, Halloween, and Duck Dynasty

....So here lately it seems my belly is expanding at light speed. I can still button my jeans, but they are beginning to feel snug. I have a pair of maternity jeans that I LOVE....but as I have recently discovered....maternity clothes (let me clarify...CUTE maternity clothes) are expensive. I felt like I was making a life decision purchasing jeans and a shirt that will fit my baby belly. I understand that regular clothes are generally expensive too, but there are many more cheap options for the regulars. Aside from my maternity clothes blues, I have began recognizing the baby's movements. I have to say it is a strange feeling to get used to. They are lighter at this time, but as I have been informed...I need to prepare for those kicks right to the ribs. I can't help but flash to Bella Swan's beginnings of labor in Breaking Dawn....okay maybe not that intense....

....Halloween has never been a time that I get super excited about or look forward to.....go ahead, call me a fuddy dud. I hate scary movies...and I think they have become more demented than scary these days. (people have twisted imaginations)....anyways I am kind of chuckling at myself tonight. I went ahead and bought candy for trick or treaters...and we had one come by. As I was grading papers, wondering why no one has knocked on our door, it occurred to me that we never turned our porch light on. ....I can't help but think we subconsciously wanted to keep all the candy for ourselves =)






          Duck Dynasty has recently caught my husband's attention. For the last few hours he has strummed on his guitar in between laughs....and had actual reactions to what they are doing or what is happening. For example, they just blew up a truck and John laughed and said "No WAY!". (he is easily amused) I think it is genuinely funny, but parts of it are obviously "helped" to develop... or something. Nevertheless, I like the show...Phil and Si are my favorite...and then Jase.
           I have to ask though, how does one become a millionaire with a duck caller? Is duck hunting that big in this country? How many duck callers can one person need?.. Everything I hear hunting wise is about deer, elk, and hogs....maybe its something to do with living in Texas....anywho....I will end with a quote I consider to be worth repeating ;).....
          " If they're just barking because they're happy to be a dog in America...I know that bark too" Phil

        Evidence of John reliving his Saturday morning cartoon days with Duck Dynasty

I now pronounce you....Thirty

 

  

   As of tomorrow I will officially be thirty. I suppose I have the option to cry hysterically over the loss of my youth...or start party rockin in honor of my"dirty thirty"....but I can say with a straight face..I don't feel anything out of the ordinary. Honestly, I'm just really happy....
   I'm happy to have spent 3 decades in this world. I'm happy how I've grown as a person. I'm happy that I'm married to John, and how easy it is to love him. I'm happy to be pregnant and settled into my career. I don't have the fanciest, brand new house....I don't have unending amounts of money in my bank account, but I think my growth has a person has allowed me to see the variety of blessings I experience.
   If I was where I am now 5 years ago, I would have felt completely different. I wouldn't recognize the blessings as I do now because I was too selfish to realize it. Again, I don't live in a modern new home...but I do have a roof over my head, and I live in a home full of love. I'm also blessed with a family beyond measure, and friends who have been with me through some very difficult moments in life thus far. Then there's John...
   John completes me on so many levels. John has always supported my love for teaching and coaching. Its not a high paying job, but money isn't the reason people become teachers and John understands that. To be unconditionally supported by John adds more fuel to the fire, and gives me the encouragement to work as hard as I can. I love my students, I want the best for them, but I what I want more...is to be my best for them. I WANT to be a great teacher and coach that prepares them for the next level. John's love helps make these desires of my heart a reality.
   If I could end this cleverly I would, but instead I will say this....When I was 18 I thought I knew everything. Then came 21 and it was an attitude of I'm so much more grown up, I've learned all I ever can about life....and this pattern continued. I believe I will continue to learn as life goes on....and I'm perfectly fine with that. :)

The one thing I said I'd do and actually did...

      (To begin let me say I have no excuses for why its been so long since I last posted anything. However, I feel like I can really handle this blog thing now days)
  
     Out of allll the things I claimed to myself as a youth.....I will only get married once.....I will graduate college by age 25.......I will begin having kids at 30.....the only one I have actually done (in line with my goals) is when I would start my family.
       I found out July 22, 2012 in a doctor's appointment (for something completely different ) that I was indeed pregnant. In fact it was likely the cause of my visit to the doctor in the first place. Our clinic has several doctors with heavy accents that are hard to understand, and this doctor was not my own personal doctor,  but we heard loud and clear "Uhhh Mrs. Christen...you are pregnant...". Immediately I looked at John and we both smiled.... to which the doctor seemed to relax  and asked "Oh, we are happy?" and then went on to ask if John was the father....(the times we live in I guess?). The first person I called was Whitney. My personal pregnancy counselor...whom, I am thankful to say, always shoots straight with me. If I am being a little too cautious or over the top she will definitely tell me. For example, I was terrified about too much caffeine intake and once asked her if I could eat an Oreo. (I was thinking chocolate=caffeine). Her response was "Christen......seriously?...." =) I have loosened up a little, but still very worried about everything I do.
       That brings me to my next thought.....I can't decide if I am allowing myself to enjoy my pregnancy. The first trimester was gag/nasuea/vomit city....I lost weight, which bothered me for the first time ever in life. Don't get me wrong I am ecstatic about being pregnant....but I am constantly thinking about what I need to do to stay healthy.  I find myself saying you can't eat this, you can't eat that....did I drink enough water today?....lay on your left side, not the right. I am constantly thinking about doing the "right thing" to make sure nothing happens to this baby. I think part of it is from the pregnancy we lost early last spring. We never really told anyone about it because we didn't want it to look like we were out for pity, but it was an emotional experience. Anywho, I just think it plays a role in my micromanaging tendencies. Most people tell me I am the typical "first time mother". I am dying for each appointment just to hear that little heart beating.
      I have heard the phrase "A woman becomes a mother as soon as she realizes she is pregnant". It didn't really happen for me that way....which I believe again to be a part of the our lost pregnancy. All I could think of was "get to the first appointment"....and then what do you know... we did make it. Then I had my first sonogram....saw and heard the heartbeat for the first time (again another time they say it sinks in for parents). Not just yet for me....I was complexed....there are two hearts beating in my ONE body. This little tadpole is living inside me. I was trying to wrap my mind around the miracle that is life....but I was scared to get attached. I found myself dying to hear the heartbeat at the next appointment, and once I heard it....relief. Our third appointment however, they could not find it with that portable thing they carry around to listen with. I was not concerend whatsoever....a mother just knows. John came with me to this appointment as well as the first...(he is amazing by the way on so many levels...he will get a blog all about his amazingness at some point)....anyway John was with me and I could tell he was bothered. All I said was "I'm not worried". We went to get a sono so they could a heartbeat...and there he or she was, bouncing and moving around all over the place. I don't know if I have ever been happier. It was like my confidence sky-rocketed! I knew everything was okay before they told me...and my baby has not only grown, but its moving! I think at that point I allowed myself ...to call myself a mother.
     So...yes I have eased up slightly...but I still find myself constantly concerened with what I am doing....I don't know if that will change. I am happy to say I am 15 weeks and going strong. I am waiting to feel that first kick...but I still have a few weeks to go....and then, before I know it...I will know which of the names we picked that we will get to use =)....Until then...here is a picture of our little miracle to hold us over until then.



15 Weeks