Jeter Wesley

     My son's entrance into this world was a little dramatic to say the least....and becoming a parent has made the world a much scarier place. There is no preparation for any parent to understand the love they will feel for their child....it is beyond explanation... I was induced early in the morning on March 29....never giving birth before, I wasn't really sure what to expect.....
     After some time I decided to go ahead and get my epidural. (They make everyone leave the room for this) It is quite a process and for some reason I was really nervous....I am not afraid of shots or needles but I couldn't see the needle and I think that made me feel extremely vulnerable. It was after my epidural that the signs of difficulty began to surface. My blood pressure dropped and so did Jeter's heart rate.....and that was such a scary feeling. My mantra was "control your body,anything you do can affect him". So, I was trying not to panic or cry and I did well until John came back in the room. I didn't like appearing weak and I didn't like knowing what it must look like for a husband to walk into the delivery room and see his wife on oxygen surrounded by nurses. Needless to say we were both stabilized and I felt a bit of relief.. ( I forgot to mention that Amy, our nurse, also happens to be my friend. I know without a doubt God worked that out for us.As emotional as the day was, it was  a blessing to have her guiding us )
     So back to the delivery room....after the first scare Amy told me the possibility of an emergency c section and the preparation and process to expect if that were to happen. I am not sure how much later it was...but we had to adjust the contraction monitor and I was turned to see if we could get the monitor to cooperate better....and Jeter's heart rate dropped again...and Amy said something like "everything I explained to you is happening now."
     Before I knew it...there were maybe 5 or 6 nurses in the room (I think, hopefully I am not exaggerating)....and they worked like a machine. It was impressive to say the least....thank God for all of them. One of the nurses gave me a antibiotic that I had to take like a shot....it was disgusting but I can say I took it like a champ. Everything else is sort of a blur but I know they gave John scrubs and we were out of our room and in the operating room in a matter of minutes. The room reminded me of an "alien abduction operation " movie scene. It was nothing but white walls, a giant light....and of course operating stuff. John was not in the room with me at this time. They were going through preparation and I just felt...still. Like that eerie feeling before a storm sometimes...just trying to keep calm. I was trying to pray but it wasn't coherent....my mind was all over the place so I found myself just saying "God, don't leave us"...and He didn't. Amy told me Jeter's heart rate was stable...Praise Him!  So there I was, arms strapped down (which confused me, but the anesthesiologist unstrapped me...and said not to touch anything... I was so grateful for this). I don't remember if John was in the room before or after they made sure I couldn't feel anything, but he was there and it was game time.
     Again, I would not let myself get too emotional....I would not look at John...I pretty much looked at nothing...I was just listening. By the way can I just say that its a strange feeling to know your body is so exposed....I could feel hands inside me....it wasn't painful, I very faintly felt it...but strange to know your doctor is looking at your insides! Anyway, there I am listening....one tear falling at a time...I have no idea how much time passed but when I heard Jeter cry, I let everything go....I just fell apart sobbing. I had been so scared that something could happen to my little guy and those tears released all that fear and worry. What we found out was that my umbilical cord was not very long and it had wrapped around Jeter's neck. So the c-section was the best thing that could have happened, because it brought Jeter into the world without harm.
    It was really hard on me not to be able to hold Jeter right after he was born. John was allowed to bring him so I could see him and then he and John left to get his weight and measurements I am guessing. I was so exhausted but I refused to sleep. I just kept thinking about my baby boy and I was dying to hold him. My eyes were closing against my will...it was not easy to open them...but I am stubborn what can I say? So, I started talking to my doctor. I asked him how my other bodily organs were looking....and even asked for a tummy tuck while he was there...( I realize now that probably wasn't very original....and hes probably heard that joke a million times) .While in  recovery Amy told me to rest...there was a firmness in her voice....but I still didn't let myself sleep. It felt like forever, but John and Jeter finally came to me. I was so overwhelmed with love my heart hurt. Like I said there is nothing that can prepare a parent for the intense love you feel for your child.
     So many people got us through that day...My husband kept calm and comforted me constantly. Amy our nurse made me feel like a VIP patient. My doctor (Dr. Young from the Women's Clinic) is an amazing doctor with so many years of experience. He was mine and my brother's doctor if that gives you an idea of how long he has been delivering babies. His skilled hands and experience protected Jeter. I wish I could have hugged him....my mother took care of that for me though =) Last thing I want to say is that the medical expertise in Wichita Falls is often criticized....but I cannot say enough how wonderful the Labor and Delivery staff is at United Regional. They are a team.....they treat you like they've known you forever and I am truly thankful for every one of them.
     The circumstances of Jeter's entrance has had some effects on me....not that anyone knows (I guess now they will) but I didn't want anyone to hold him. When anyone did...I was secretly screaming on the inside. I think not being able to hold him and the fear I felt during delivery played a big role in that. It has improved, but I still get anxious when other people are holding him. Surely it will continue to get better. All that matters, is that our son is here and healthy. I will end with what I have experienced these first 5 weeks of Jeter's life.....

                1. Obviously we don't sleep, but  even when he sleeps I don't sleep because I am watching him sleep....call me a worrier
                2. Spit up seems to be more of a laundry issue than a pain/health issue
                3. Breast feeding is considered best and I agree...but it wasn't best for Jeter. Even after cutting out dairy and caffeine he was not happy and not gaining weight and after 5 weeks he has switched to formula. He is much happier and definitely gaining weight.
                4. It has taken me some time to recover from the c-section....getting up was easy....standing up was the most painful by far. I made the mistake of trying to lay flat in our bed when we were first home and John had to help me up and it was not easy and I will say it resulted in me burying my head in John's chest crying....and I slept in our recliner for weeks. 
                5. Diaper changes can be traumatizing
                6. Our dogs have adjusted well so far to Jeter's presence in our home.
                7. My little man farts like his daddy
                8. When I lay him down to sleep I immediately want to pick him back up and just hug him
                9. John is the sweetest dad I could have ever imagined
               10. Its okay if you find yourself trying to reason with your newborn, you get so tired you forget who you are talking to....the best example I can give is when Jeter wouldn't sleep I would tell him " You are grumpy because you are tired and if you sleep you won't be grumpy"...I may as well have been speaking Swahili...because duh...he is a newborn....


I just love my son...and I love that he, John, Lucy, Hank and myself are a family.

As of Late....

      Just a few things I thought I would note....to look back and laugh about someday...or my kids can read it....that is if there is still reading in the future 0.0.....okay dumb joke. I am currently 33 weeks along...with a countdown of 7 weeks left to go....yikes! If i were to try and summarize this pregnancy I would have to say....

          I am sooo tired of being asked my due date...its a natural question to ask I get it...but I'm over it =)

          First trimester was rough....lots of vomiting and fear of eating

          I feel like the rest of my body has somewhat stayed normal....but my face is "Giant Marshmallow Man at the end of Ghostbusters face" fat       

          My third trimester has been nothing but heartburn and acid re-flux....in fact, TUMS have become my new best friend 

          

          The things I have seemed to crave the most are milk and veggie trays. I don't want to admit how easily I can knock out a veggie tray 

          

          

          I don't sleep through an entire night.....in fact rolling over is like some CIA top secret mission...

           I don't know if I am experiencing Braxton-Hicks.... does anybody really know?

           My husband likes to make faces that resemble the appearance of my belly button...which admittedly makes me laugh =) 

           I keep wondering what Jeter is going to look like...

           Bending over, or leaning forward is a NO....very uncomfortable

           I wonder what Jeter thinks of the noises he hears during school and at games...

           I don't mind people touching my belly....some of my students even rub it.....I think its sweet

           It has gone by waaaayyy faster than I expected

           I am excited for my baby shower....its comparable to being a kid and getting ready for your

           birthday party with your friends! 

         I am going to end here because there is a double cheeseburger with my name on it....I have no shame, I will enjoy it!